With the Royal Rumble behind us, we can now focus on new predictions and rumors swirling around the next big event on the wrestling calendar. No it’s not WrestleMania. We’re talking about the WWE Hall of Fame! The next couple of months, the hype machine will be all about WrestleMania 33, but us nerdy wrestling fans will be busy speculating which legends will be chosen to join the most famous Hall in professional wrestling.
Every year we fill up a wall with names then start flicking those darts, seeing who the fates decide we should champion. None of our picks last year got the call to go in (sadly), so we’ve come up with a new batch of candidates. The Class of 2017 is already headlined by Kurt Angle, with the ‘80s tag team of The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express and Teddy Long joining him. With those three spots taken, we offer up five talents that would solidify the group and bring cheers from the WWE Universe. Jump to the next page to see who we nominate!
Big Van Vader
When you share a name with Darth Vader, you’ve got to be a badass, which Big Van Vader most certainly is. The transformation of Leon White to Vader started in Japan, when he competed in New Japan Pro Wrestling (NJPW). At 6’ 5” tall and well over 400 pounds, Vader was a true mastodon of a man, but became an even more terrifying figure as he wore an H.R. Giger inspired helmet/chest piece to the ring. Sporting horns and spiked shoulders pads, the damn thing even shot out smoke!
With his size and mean streak, Vader was one of the scariest wrestlers ever. He proved it when he terrorized WCW in the ‘90s, highlighted by his barbaric feud with Cactus Jack. It scraped off years from both their lives and Cactus got his ear torn off in one of their matches. Yikes!
During his time in WCW and WWE, Vader had memorable feuds with Sting, Ron Simmons and Shawn Michaels, adding the WCW World Championship to his resume.
Sadly, Vader’s time on this planet might be winding down, as last November he revealed that he has less than two years to live. The 61-year old disclosed that he’s been diagnosed with congestive heart failure. Hopefully it will be “Vader Time” soon for the Hall of Fame. In the meantime, we’ll always have his appearances on Boy Meets World:
Davey Boy Smith aka The British Bulldog
The only wrestler that could pull off braids and actually make it look cool was Davey Boy Smith. The powerhouse Brit started his career in the tag team ranks as one half of The British Bulldogs with the Dynamite Kid. During the 1980s, the team wowed audiences with their inventive style.
With the body of a He-Man action figure, Smith took the team’s name in the ‘90s and embarked on a successful singles run which included his career defining match against brother-in-law, Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Davey won the Intercontinental Championship in that match which lifted him to new heights in popularity, especially in the UK and Europe.
Smith turned bad guy during WWE’s Attitude Era, first aligning himself with Jim Cornette, then joining The Hart Foundation. Fighting alongside family members like Bret and Owen Hart, Smith, the faction would feud against the likes of Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin. That alliance put Davey at the center of the infamous Montreal Screwjob, which led to him leaving the company.
A successful career that still had years to go, was tragically cut short. Smith’s behind-the-scenes battles with drugs and steroid abuse led to a massive heart attack, claiming his life in May 2002. Davey Boy deserves a posthumous induction based on his own achievements and contributions to the business.
Chuck Norris (Celebrity Wing)
Fact: Every sports Hall of Fame is just a corridor in Chuck Norris’ house.
He’s become a meme hero and urban legend to some, but Chuck Norris will still roundhouse kick that grin off your face if you cross him. That’s exactly what Vince McMahon and his cronies are facing for not having already inducted Chuck into their Hall yet. Odds are Shaquille O’Neal will get the “celebrity wing” spot this year, especially with his looming “Please God, No” match against The Big Show at ‘Mania this year. If WWE wants us to sit through that trainwreck, they should at least give us a Chuck induction.
Back in 1994 Walker, Texas Ranger himself made his way to WWE, serving as a special enforcer in the Yokozuna v. Undertaker match at The Survivor Series. His video promos were great as he promised to bring law and order to the wrestling ring. King Kong Bundy and Bam Bam Bigelow tested him but weren’t foolish enough to engage Chuck. Jeff Jarrett however did, earning him a karate kick to the chest.
The now 76-year old action legend would legitimize WWE’s Hall of Fame, because it wouldn’t be much of a Hall without Chuck or his beard included.
Miss Elizabeth
WWE really dropped the ball here. “The First Lady of Wrestling” should have been inducted back in 2015 alongside “Macho Man” Randy Savage. Both talents will forever be intertwined, thanks to their in-ring partnership. His was a posthumous induction as hers sadly will be as well.
Elizabeth Ann Hulette better known to the world as Miss Elizabeth, was never a wrestler or much of a talker. She did however exude charm, elegance and appeal back during the rock and wrestling era of the 1980s. She truly was the beauty in a world inhabited by monsters, giants and ogres.
As the manager to Randy Savage, she became his “precious,” as the man became obsessed with her. Serving as his muse, Miss Elizabeth was right by Randy’s side, propelling him to stardom and championship glory. She was also at the center of the collapse of The Mega Powers, with Savage accusing Hulk Hogan of lusting for Elizabeth. “Those eyes lust Elizabeth” has become a popular wrestling phrase that applies to Hogan or any fan during that era, as we all had crushes on the woman.
Miss Elizabeth died way too young at the age of 42 in 2003. Her name is added to the long list of early deaths in wrestling, caused by drugs and alcohol. Behind the scenes, Randy and Elizabeth were married and divorced, but they’ll always be linked as the greatest power couple in wrestling.
Haku aka Meng
Did you hear about the time Haku bit the nose off some guy? How about the time he took on an entire police force? Or what about the countless bar fights where he was the last man standing in a sea of bodies covering the floor?
These aren’t wrestling storylines conjured up by a booking team. No, these are documented accounts shared by wrestlers about the real man.
Little children are scared of the boogeyman but what wrestlers tell other wrestlers to keep them up at night, are stories about Haku (or Meng as some may know him). In the world of professional wrestling, no one is as feared or intimidating as the man from the Tonga islands. Looking past his tough guy persona, Haku’s (Tonga Fifita) had a long and prosperous wrestling career dating back to the 1980s. A prototype heel, he was a member of The Heenan Family where he’d often partner up with Andre the Giant as The Colossal Connection. While he never reached main event level or became a marquee name, Haku was a workhorse wrestler that always delivered in matches.
No one’s stupid enough to tell Haku that he’s not going to be inducted into the Hall so the question is who should induct him? Our money would be on The Rock sharing outrageous tales about his uncle like this one:
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