Wednesday, 5 April 2017

6 Things We Learned From WrestleMania 33

Was WrestleMania 33 horrible? No. Was WrestleMania 33 great? No.

Another ho-hum WrestleMania is in the books as the 2017 version took place this past Sunday from Orlando, FL, giving us a predictable and bland card. If we’re handing WWE a report card for their effort, we’re giving Vince and his crew a B- for the event. Long was the theme of the night, as everything just took forever to happen. Like a bloated summer blockbuster that never ends, we’re betting that ‘Mania put fans to sleep at some point throughout the show.

Looking past the runtime, things did happen. Some wrestling storylines came to a close while new ones began: John Cena got engaged, Brother Nero and Broken Matt returned, and the greatest WWE character of all-time called it quits.

Having digested the results, here are six key things learned from the big night!

 

Honorable Mentions:

  • A slow clap for the female security guard that manhandled NFL star, Rob Gronkowski. During the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, the New England Patriot star was cheering on his buddy Mojo Rawley from the front row, when he hopped the barrier to help Mojo against Jinder Mahal. A lone security guard wasn’t informed of that part of the show as she charged Gronk and momentarily prevented him from entering the ring.

  • There’s nothing but theme parks in Orlando, so WWE decided to create their own for WrestleMania 33 with their impressive entrance set. Pushing the “ultimate thrill ride” as this year’s slogan, the jaw dropping stage design included a rollercoaster (with 2 loops!), a massive globe, basketball court sized video screens and a King Kong appropriate prop wrestling ring. 

 

The Undertaker is No More

Twenty-seven years…that’s how long The Undertaker has been competing in WWE. We will never see that longevity topped!

Debuting back at the 1990 Survivor Series as “The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase’s mystery partner, The Undertaker has been the company’s longest tenured in-ring performer. The company’s stalwart soldier has seen eras come and go, as the wrestling industry dramatically changed over his time as “The Phenom.” Suffering a loss to Roman Reigns this past Sunday, not only did that mark the end of their brief feud, but by all accounts, it also ended up being The Undertaker’s final match.

Not many will remember the match, but the subsequent 15 minutes after…those sights and sounds will forever be etched onto the memories of all wrestling fans. Tired, bruised and battered, “The Deadman” stood in the middle of the ring, receiving cheers and applause from the entire stadium as the ultimate sign of respect. In a symbolic gesture, Taker proceeded to remove his gloves, coat and hat, leaving his signature gear in a pile in the center of the ring as he stepped away into the darkness. Breaking character, Mark Calaway, the man that performed the character for decades, greeted and kissed his wife Michelle (McCool) Calaway at ringside, then made his way back up the ramp one last time.

 

Hardy Boys, We Knew You'd Come

Well, I was wrong. In a previous Wrestling Wednesday piece, I predicted that Broken Matt Hardy (and Brother Nero) wouldn’t join WWE in 2017 because TNA would be foolish to let their hottest act leave. Of course, TNA lets them walk and the brothers made a surprise return at WrestleMania 33, during the ladder match for the RAW tag team titles. Their rumored return had been growing online for the past few weeks. Most fans thought it would occur on RAW, but having them appear Sunday created a perfect WrestleMania moment.

Not only did Matt and Jeff receive the biggest pop of the night, but what we learned is that they may be using some form of their “Broken” personas that they created and perfected down in TNA. While the legality of using those full gimmicks is being worked out by WWE lawyers, Matt and Jeff’s appearance gave the show a much needed shot in the arm. 

 

John Cena “Proposes” To Nikki Bella

In the most manufactured moment of the night, WWE poster boy and budding Hollywood actor John Cena proposed to his longtime girlfriend Nikki Bella. This didn’t come as a surprise considering many online wrestling sites were predicting it was going to happen at WrestleMania. While hardcore fans are pissed that Miz and Maryse lost to Cena and Ditzy Bella, the real losers here were the fans. Those in attendance and watching on TV had to witness John Boy propose to Nikki, in a cringe-worthy scene straight from E!’s Total Bellas.

Who knows how long this TV engagement will last but what we learned is that unless it’s the late-great Randy Savage making the proposal, then brother, we don’t care. Oh Yeahhhhhhh!

 

The Entrance Ramp of The Immortals

Only in the world of pro wrestling can an entrance ramp steal away some of the shine from the superstars that walk down on it. The biggest entrance ramp in WrestleMania history was certainly that, as the elaborate, almost never-ending ramp made for a resource of jokes as wrestlers walked what seemed like miles to get to the ring.

What we learned is that had WWE listened to our suggestion of bringing back the old mini-ring carts, the show could have shaved off a couple of hours. At nearly 85 yards long, drinking games were created over the course of the night, with people guessing times for each competitor to walk across the ramp. WWE wisely had The Undertaker appearing from the half-way point or else ‘Mania might still be going! 

 

PowerPoint Projects Itself Onto The World Championship

For those that care, Randy Orton defeated Bray Wyatt to become the WWE Heavyweight Champion. This match is also the dud of the night, with fans not caring at all for the action in the ring. Orton’s character is absolutely boring. We’re talking doing your laundry level type of excitement.

WWE’s brain-trust must have known this match was going to suck as they decided to project images onto the mat at various points during the bout. Worms, maggots and cockroaches appeared on the canvas in an effort to show off Bray’s powers. We learned that WWE’s misguided effort in trying to create something “cool” has become a joke, snatched up by Twitter and turned into a meme. Bray deserved better.

 

NXT Wins Again

As was the case last year, NXT TakeOver rolled out the better product during WrestleMania weekend. While not on the level of last year’s NXT TakeOver: Dallas show, 2017’s NXT TakeOver: Orlando was hands down more enjoyable and satisfying than WrestleMania 33. Match of the weekend honors go to The Revival, #DIY and The Authors of Pain for their NXT Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Match. The Revival and #DIY continue to raise the bar for tag team wrestling and this time helped lift AOP in the process. With the brand being two-for-two on stealing ‘Mania weekend, we’d gamble that it’ll happen again in New Orleans in 2018!

 

Get your wrestling fix any day of the week by visiting our Wrestling Wednesday page.



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