It's Valentine’s Day, and love is in the air — or more precisely, it’s in every retail store in America. Dedicated aisles are a sea of red hearts, teddy bears and chocolates, and just as you can count on this happening every year, if you’re single you can also count on hearing your betrothed friends say things to you like, “I can’t believe you’re still single,” “Someone out there is just waiting for you,” and, “Have you thought about online dating?”
That last one. Yes. Online dating.
It’s 2017. Online dating is no longer something that has to be approached with trepidation, and the feeling that one might end up having their story told as a Lifetime Original Movie. In fact, according to a Pew Research Center report, 59% of US adults feel online dating is a good way to meet people.
eHarmony, which admittedly has something to gain by touting positive statistics, notes 20% of people currently in committed relationships had those relationships begin online, and 7% of marriages in 2015 were between couples who met on a dating site.
If you’re one of the millions of people looking to find a mate in the same place you find your memes, here are 10 cliches to avoid when creating your online dating profile.
“My Friends are Like family”
A plethora of people I see on online dating sites seem to think it’s some sort of revelation that they care about their friends. Newsflash: everyone cares about their friends. No one is all, “I treat my friends like garbage!”
Also, the whole “my friends are like family” thing can come off as a little teenybopper, or, even worse, like you’ve built a gauntlet people will have to get through. Even if the latter is true, it might be best not to let potential dates know that the gauntlet exists right from the get-go.
Exception: If you’re a former employee of MCI.
Every Picture is a Selfie
For the love of God, for someone who says their friends are like family you couldn’t get a single one of them to take a picture for you, or with you?
No one’s saying you have to set up an appointment at your local mall’s Glamor Shots, but a few pictures where you aren’t holding your arm out would be nice.
“I Can’t Live Without My Passport”
Really? Then why are 90% of your pictures taken in your bedroom mirror?
Every Picture Being From a Different Vacation
Nearly as bad as the people who say they can’t live without their passport are the people who really want to prove to you that they can’t live without their passport.
You think you look adventurous, but seeing 10 pictures in a row, all from different places, comes off as exhausting. People are trying to find a significant other, and if you’re out here looking like Carmen Sandiego, you’re asking a lot of potential mates to track you down.
Also, if you give the impression that you’re all over the world it can make people wonder if you actually stay in one place long enough to date anyone. Post a few of your favorite vacation pics to show your love of travel, but be sure to make it clear you have both the time, and desire, to date.
The Skydiving Picture
There are other, far more flattering, ways to show you’re up for anything that don’t involve your face looking like it’s about to be peeled off of your skull.
Oh, and if someone DOES find that look attractive you should probably run away from them as fast as you possibly can. We all saw the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Listing Your Resume Instead of Your Personal Qualities
This isn’t a job interview, and, quite frankly, your job probably isn’t the most interesting thing about you.
Also, much like having nothing but travel pictures, telling people how busy you are gives the impression you probably don’t have the time to be in a relationship.
Bragging That You Don’t Own a TV
If you don’t own a TV, but spend all your time streaming Netflix and Hulu, you own a TV, you just call it your computer/tablet.
Saying you don’t own a TV is an attempt to look better than others, and guess what, pretentiousness is a real turn off.
Calling Yourself a Sapiosexual
Speaking of pretentiousness, you may love people for their minds, but no, you’re not a sapiosexual.
If you were truly a sapiosexual you’d be clicking on EVERY profile to check out people’s personalities. Instead you only click on the profiles where you’re attracted to the picture. There is nothing wrong with this. Just stop trying to act like looks don’t matter to you.
Using Snapchat Filters
If you have a flower crown or puppy dog features in your pictures, I’m going to expect you to have a flower crown or puppy dog features when we meet for a drink.
Also, you’re a grown up, why are you using Snapchat filters?
“I Can’t Believe I’m On a Dating Site”
You can’t believe you’re on a dating site? Well, you are, as is every single person who views your profile, so maybe chill with insinuating the process is somehow beneath you.
Also, being on an online dating site isn’t the end of the world. It isn’t some indication that your life has gone horribly astray, and you must be some sort of bridge troll because you didn’t find love the same way your parents, or best friend, did. It’s 2017, and online dating is just as valid a way to meet someone as walking up to a person in a bar.
Want to see more lists? Check out our Everybody Loves a List! page.
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