In case you've somehow missed Drake's proclamation of love for the Cheesecake Factory, just know that he's a big enough fan to not only reference it in his track "Child's Play" but also feature it in the music video for the same song. We can't blame Mr. Graham for being a fan though, as his music and the somewhat-upscale restaurant chain are actually pretty similar in a lot of ways.
We could go on for days, but here are 10 reasons why Cheesecake and Drake are actually one in the same (beyond the fact that they're both unforgivably cheesy).
Their Main Fans are Young Women & NBA Players
For those ignoring all Cheesecake Factory-related stories (which makes us wonder why you're still reading this one), Drake isn't the only celebrity to recently confess their love for the restaurant. The best basketball players in the world are so fond of it that a handful of publications actually ran stories about it recently. In very much the same way, professional athletes seem to be the only dudes who can get away with being major Drake enthusiasts.
They Do the Same Thing with Many Different Names
Have you ever looked closely at the actual dinner menu at the Cheesecake Factory? It's basically just two pages of various forms of breaded chicken cutlets and one page of some other random stuff that no one really buys. The same could be said for Drake's discography, which really hasn't progressed to anywhere new or substantial in the last handful of years. Starting with Nothing Was the Same, everything's been pretty much the same.
They Make Their Money in the Suburbs
If you ask Drake or Cheesecake Factory, they'll probably tell you that their markets are in cities and towns of all sizes around the world. But if you really look at where either of them excel, it's in the areas with the most financial flexibility and the least actual culture. That's not to say you won't hear Drake or eat some weird flavors of cheesecake in a city somewhere, but they're both a virtual lock for every suburb in America.
Your Mom Only Vaguely Understands Their Appeal
Unless your mother is a diehard cheesecake aficionado or avid fan of rap-flavored pop music, she probably likes Drake and Cheesecake Factory on roughly the same level. They're safe enough where she's comfortable with them (more on that later), but she's never really enthused for either and doesn't want to wait in line for some mediocre food before getting to her cheesecake.
They Pretend to Have Some Authenticity & Quality
Cheesecake Factory's main marketing scheme is basically making you feel better for not eating at Olive Garden, and Drake is just banking on the music industry continuing its trend of watering down hip-hop so much that everyone hates it. Aubrey isn't going after Kendrick anytime soon, and you won't see the Cheesecake Factory competing for customers with an actual five-star restaurant.
They Appeal to the Lowest Common Denominator
The beauty of both Drake and the Cheesecake Factory are that they only go after the lowest of low-hanging fruits. Drizzy's entire career is based around whining/bragging about girls, and Cheesecake Factory has their main draw right in its name. If there are two things more common among all of humanity than romance and sugar addiction, we haven't found them.
There Are Always Better Options, but They're Safe
As soon as you hear there's a new Drake song, you already kind of know what it's going to sound like. It's going to be aurally pleasing; there are going to be some decent lines, and it's going to have a hook you can sing along to. Pretty much every dish at Cheesecake Factory is essentially the same thing for your tastebuds. You know you won't be getting Yeezus from either, but you'll also never get The College Dropout. Nothing from either option will likely ever blow you away, but you'll rarely (if ever) be let down.
The main Course is Never the Best Part
No one goes to the Cheesecake Factory for the entrees, and the best part of Drake albums are generally the features from artists like Future and the Weeknd. What a time to be alive.
Their Best Ideas Are Stolen
Have you ever really looked at a menu at the Cheesecake Factory and seen something you couldn't find at another restaurant? It's a weird combination of Italian, Asian and other ethnicities of food, but none of it is exactly original. As for Drake? Well, "One Dance" is about as authentically dancehall as Cheesecake's "Jamaican Black Pepper Shrimp," and there's always the chance your favorite lines were written by a ghostwriter.
You Know They're Bad, but You Keep Going Back
Let's face it, both Cheesecake Factory and Drake can ruin a relationship, but you just can't get over the S'mores cheesecake or that first half of Thank Me Later. Since Cheesecake Factory now has the ridiculous calorie counts listed next to their dishes, maybe it's time Drake lists the percentage chance you'll call your ex on each song.
Want to see more lists? Check out our Everybody Loves a List! page.
from Myspace - Editorial http://ift.tt/2mGJdkZ
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