When Dia Frampton was contemplating titles for her latest album, a friend suggested Bruises. The word immediately struck a chord with her.
A bruise, she notes, “Represents something that is hurting, but it’s covered by a thin layer of skin.
“It’s kind of that thing that you want to hide,” she continues. “That’s kind of how this past year felt to me, because nothing happened that was so crazy that I felt like I was broken, or cut open, or anything like that – in a metaphorical way, of course – but I did feel like I had accrued all of these tiny bruises that I had just constantly tried to cover up, and a new one would appear. It was a constant way of making me feel so unsure about myself.”
All of these emotions can be found on Bruises, which Frampton says, “Really represents the reality of what life is for me.”
“This is my favorite thing about being an artist,” she explains. “I feel like when you put on someone’s record, or watch someone’s movie, or read their book, what you’re really getting is their outlook on the world, and how they see the world, and Bruises is a very strong way of how I see the world. I see it in sections of light and dark, in good and bad, and every single day is different.”
Frampton continues, “I feel like every day I’ll have a win, or a loss, and it kind of goes in that circle, and it’s just about dealing with it, and that’s why the album really ends on a hopeful note, but for the most part the album is about wins and losses.”
Wins and losses are concepts everyone can relate to, just as everyone has experienced their own fair share of emotional bruises. Frampton spoke with us about some of the emotional bruises she’s had to deal with over the years, and the best ways she’s found to heal them.
Hop to the next page to read her 7 tips for healing emotional bruises.
Confront Your Demons
I think you’ve gotta confront your demons, really, and understand what’s going on in your life.
I’ve been studying acting, and film, for the last five years. The most important thing that we confront in class is lots of actors will shut down in scenes because they feel too exposed, and they feel like they’re finally confronting things that they don’t want to confront in their real life.
I think sometimes when things hit too close to home we shut down, and the most important thing when that happens, is to open up, and try to learn from it, and embrace it, and grab onto it.
Find a Positive Outlet
I do a lot of things to make me feel better, and that’s one thing I think you do have control over.
I’ve turned to busying myself in different classes, in different things that inspire me. I’m taking film class right now. I just graduated from UCB’s improv. So I’ve just been taking different classes, and exercising. Meditation has been really hard, and wonderful, too.
I think when you’re feeling lost, or when you’re feeling stressed, or you have these bruises, really the most important thing is to keep yourself busy, and try to find things that make you a better person every day.
Talk About Things
My parents got a divorce, maybe seven years ago, but it’s definitely taken a long time to rebuild that relationship up with my dad, because I was really upset, and really angry, for a really long time.
A lot of people have somebody in their life that they love that they haven’t talked to in years. It’s kind of scary how common that is, and I feel like a lot of the time, especially if it’s with men, they don’t want to talk about it as much.
For a long time it would be weird, but I’d be hanging out with my dad, and we would talk about about the basketball game, or a new movie I watched, or I’d tell him about a film class I’m taking, or a short film, or a song, and stuff like that.
It took a while to gear up to actually talking about things that were bothering me, or questions I had, and I think as soon as you open those doors to having a conversation … it’s so weird to say that a conversation is something that will fix everything, but it really opens the door for so many things to be explored, and talked about, and made better.
It’s so shocking to me how sometimes people just don’t talk about things that are at the root of all of their heartache.
It’s just sitting down, and having that really uncomfortable, “Hey, why did you do this? It made me feel like this. Can you give me an explanation? An apology? Can we talk about this? How are you feeling?”
Focus on Something You Love
Writing a song, performing, those are the moments I really love, and I really care about, and I think it’s just focusing on that work.
I feel like whenever I’ve worked as an artist on things that I love, the work (notion of it) kind of goes by the wayside, and the love for it just really takes over, and I don’t realize that it’s hard work.
Honestly, it sounds so silly, but the ten hour drive it took to get to a small city, and the loading in in the snow, and sleeping in a park, those things didn’t matter, that was all zeroed out, and washed away by the 20 minutes, or 30 minutes, we got to perform on stage. That made it all worth it for me. It was so worth it to me that I could do it again the next day, and the next day, 280 days a year for ten years.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
I think it was Idris Elba who had a really inspiring talk where he basically said, “If I’m swimming laps in a pool I’m gonna slow down if I keep looking up, and looking at the people ahead of me, and the people behind me, and the person next to me. I need to keep my head down and just swim my lap.”
That meant something to me because I do that all the time. I’ll keep poking my head up, and thinking, “Oh my gosh this person just got this huge movie, and made this beautiful album, and she’s 24, and I’m turning 30 this year, and what have I done?”
So for me, this year, it’s keep my head down, and keep climbing the mountain. Don’t stop and see who’s ahead of you. Don’t stop and see who’s behind you.
Don’t Let Others Decide Your Self-Worth
This might sound a little cocky, or weird, but the other day I was driving to Malibu, and it was raining, and it was five in the morning, and I turned on the Bruises album, and I listened to it all the way through.
I think that was the most comforting thing to me, and it has been, just listening to the work that was done, and having all the great memories of different songs.
All those memories with the music, and actually putting the album on, and just knowing if this album doesn’t do well, it’s OK, because I really love it, and I’m glad that I did what I wanted to do.
Take Control
I got into acting about five years ago, and that is a whole different level of rejection on a daily basis.
For the longest time I took that personally.
There were so many times when I got close. There’s a new show called Riverdale that I auditioned for, and I got close to a part, and now I’m seeing billboards for it all over LA, and sometimes that’s hard.
Now I just focus on doing the best job I can, but sometimes I get so self-conscious of everything I’m doing that I kind of self-sabotage myself.
The thing that’s helped me fix that mentality has been taking all of that energy that basically is saying, “Please like me. Please give this to me,” and pushing it into, “You know what, I’m gonna do things myself. I’m gonna write my own stories.”
I don’t need to wait for somebody else to give me a green light to write my stories. Just last weekend I did a short film with a friend that was self funded by him.
I’m working on my own short story right now, which I’m writing, and I’m gonna try to film once I get enough hours in, and raise enough money. I’m also working on a pilot right now with a friend.
It’s just been taking all that energy, and saying you know what, I’m not gonna wait. I’m going to create content, and create stories, and tell them on my own.
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